The Omen

The last time I was unemployed (spoken in the tones of: "The Day War Broke Out"..)
I had an interview with Sure Start.
Sure Start is a government funded programme to work with parents and babies.
It was based on  the American Head Start programme.
Its original aim: End Child Poverty.
They planned to do this even without the intervention of Moses, God, or that guy who wears his underpants outside his tights....Ambitious.
Nobody seemed to look very hard at the results the Americans has with Head Start. As it transpired the results weren't wonderful, but Sure Start as a spin-off spinned off like a mad spinning thing
Anyway........ Sure Start needed a Male Worker on their project.
I went for the interview, and the interview consisted of:
"Oh hello, how are you?
Would you like the job?
When can you start?
You haven't murdered anyone lately have you?
No?
Excellent.
Can you start today?"
They didn't actually have a job, as such.
They had me sit on the floor where people brought babies in.
They didn't tell me what to do or anything.
Just sit there.
So I sat there.
For eight hours.
I have had various periods in my life that have been truly execrable.
Camping mainly. Trying to sleep and surf at the same time as the rain hammered through flopping failing canvas.
Or dentists. You'll just feel a slight prick. You LIE!!! Mr. Dentist!!!
But this eight hours sat on the floor being ignored and trying to look inviting/approachable/professional.
It was a long time...
It would have helped if they had told me what I was supposed to be doing, or let me see what the other "male workers" on other projects were doing , but no.
They had their Token Male Worker (me)
The government told them they had to have one and there you are.Ot there I was.
Sit over there and look paternal.
After the first day I bugged out.
I said:
Look.
You don't have a job for me.
You've got a square of carpet for me to sit on and make you look politically correct.
If you want to talk about a job, then get back to me. I'll be more than happy to make some constructive suggestions.
They never did get back to me.

To be continued....